Written by a Counsellor

2020 was a miserable year for many people.
Yes, there were certainly some really good bits, like not having to feel guilty about wanting to stay home for example, but loneliness and restrictions, health and financial fears and way too few hugs took their toll.

Now that the ‘real’ new year has started (on 1 Feb ), if you’re like me, you are on a path to reset and get sorted for a happier and healthier year.
Here is a list of my top tips to unlock your happiness and cultivate what you are after:

1. Decide what ‘to hold’ and what ‘to fold’.
   You probably know the Kenny Rogers song 'The Gambler’. The secret to thriving is knowing what to let go of and what to keep.
   “You gotta know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em... know when to walk away and know when to run“ .
   So, what can you let go of or fold?

2. Rebuild, rebuild rebuild.

   Last year I had a big car accident and a biggish operation (I’m all good now thanks). One of my concerns was losing physical strength and needing to rebuild fitness. I had struggled to reach an acceptable level of strength and flexibility and I lost it – again and then again! Far out!
   I had also successfully pivoted around gym/yoga/pilates, Covid closures and the lockdowns and had got jiggy with online exercises.
   So what did I learn from this experience?
   Interestingly, I learned that I could be patient with my body, I could listen deeply and rebuild with gentle persistence. And I could cuddle myself into change instead of beating myself up.

3. Listening

   Listening is such an underrated skill.
   Listening deeply to other people is one thing, but listening deeply to yourself and acting from that is truly liberating. If your gut is definitely telling you to stop doing something, DO IT. Your whole body and your life will love you for it.

   How do you listen to your gut???
   It’s the gentle supportive voice that messages you when you are especially have some quiet time (quiet time – that’s not doing nothing, its resting and resetting…).

4. What about others?
   When you listen to others aim to listen to the undercurrent of their message….it is what they really want you to do. Being a good listener means quietening down your inner chatter, including that part of us that is thinking ahead of what you want to say next. Listening well creates connection – which is what we all really want – with ourselves and each other.

5. Consciously slow down your breath

   A very fast an effective emotional reset is to become aware that you are breathing and s l o w  i t  d o w n…… it will make your body and mind feel safe.
   An easy on the go way is to breathe more deeply, notice your tummy and chest move with breath and then consciously slow it down – especially the out breath. Sometimes I suggest to clients to imagine they are a classy cigarette smoker slowly exhaling out the smoke…..

   Enjoy :0)

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