HEAL YOURSELF FIRST
Written By Gabriel Macura (Holistic Counselling)
Have you ever thought “If only I had that car/house/job/partner etc I would be happy?” The media feeds on us feeling this way and searching for something external to validate and complete us. Click bait, endless scrolling, buying things we don’t really want or need, constantly seeking external solutions for internal needs. We all experience it.
The thing is - nothing other than our own perspective and healthy inner life can create a happy internal environment in any kind of lasting way. And I’m not going to lie - IT’S HARD WORK. It takes discipline and determination to turn our thinking around if we are generating a lot of negative mind chatter. But the good news is…. IT IS TOTALLY DOABLE!
And the domino effect is that when we are practicing intention based thinking, our external environment changes quite naturally to reflect that.
There is lots of scientific research to explain how it works, but in short, the brain has this filtering process called the Reticular Activation System (RAS). The RAS facilitates conscious perception of sensory stimuli and “context” of sensory experience (Kumar, 2010). Very basically that means that whatever we believe - we will find.
We can’t take in all the information we encounter each day, so our brain has to pick and choose what gets through the filter and what doesn’t. Our brain sifts through the endless data we are receiving and what gets through the filter is what is most relevant to us based upon our personal beliefs and expectations. Take a minute to really understand the impact of that. The things we do absorb are based on what we believe and are telling ourselves is true.
Here are a couple of simple examples. If you start believing that you are going to find a fantastic new job, you will begin to tune into opportunities and supporting information that can assist you to do that. Or if you decide you are going to buy a new car of a particular description, you will start seeing those cars everywhere.
This can either work for us or against us depending upon the nature of the thoughts we are thinking. And if we actively start to change our thoughts we will begin to see the reflection of this in the world around us.
Mindfulness, intention, self-observation, self-awareness and discipline are key to creating lasting changes in our thinking. We may be struggling with a life of fear-based indoctrination or managing the effects of trauma. We may have had a turn of events which have set us on a path of negative thought patterns or rendered us feeling helpless. It will take work to turn our thinking around but it is some of the most important and impactful work we will ever do.
So how do we action this kind of change? Specifically identify a goal and detailed outcome of this goal. Create the story surrounding this goal - the visuals, the feeling of achieving it, the world you live in as a result of attaining this goal. By doing this, you are feeding this data into the RAS and your conscious and subconscious mind will work in union to achieve it. The reason this takes discipline and self awareness is that it is easy to slip back into negative patterns of thinking. This visualisation must become your new way of thinking to bring about the changes you are seeking.
It can be challenging to embark upon this process alone and especially challenging if we are surrounded by people or circumstances which reinforce negative patterned thinking. Finding a support person or team of support people who understand how our thought process impacts our outcome can be fundamental in bringing about the changes necessary to start seeing results.
The best advice is to start small. Practice re-framing one negative thought a day. Even if you struggle to believe what you are telling yourself - play along and see what happens. You never know… it could be the beginning of the life of your dreams.
Gabriel is available on Thursdays between 4pm and 8pm. If you would like to book an appointment you can call the clinic on (03) 5429 3610 or book online by clicking the link below.